


I Don't Accept This

by rpgsrule



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Short One Shot, this has been in my wip document since october so i'm just going to publish it and be done with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-20 16:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13150932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rpgsrule/pseuds/rpgsrule
Summary: Scanlan makes a wish, and Vox Machina rejoices… Vax isn't quite as delighted.





	I Don't Accept This

**Author's Note:**

> (the alternative title for this was 'I Cheated Death and Now She Wants a Divorce')

Vax felt a cold pain in his chest, it was time, he knew it was coming and at this point he had no more fear, it was inevitable… the price he had to pay for the safety of his family. It was his fate, and as much as he knew it would be devastating for the rest of Vox Machina, he had accepted it, and his queen had decided it was his time. Now, as a dark shadow formed into a familiar shape, he took a step towards his fate and-

"No," A soft but determined voice echoed throughout the room, "I don't accept this." Vax turned to see Scanlan surrounded by his distinctive pink energy, his heart sank… he knew _exactly_ what his friend was going to do. The blessing of Ioun on his forehead had faded since the battle, but now, as Scanlan prepared his Wish, his last ditch effort to protect Vax, it shone brighter than ever.

"I wish… that Vex'ahlia and Vax'ildan can live out their natural lives, free of any deals Vax made with the Raven Queen," Scanlan declared glared up at the deity of death as she towered over him, her mask unmoving as always, but her rage was palpable. As he finished his spell, the cold touch of his queen melted from Vax's heart, he took a deep breath and relief filled his lungs, but that feeling quickly gave way to _devastation._

 _'Scanlan…'_ Vax thought, his mouth hung open as he watched the smallest of his friends face down a god for the second time today, _'Such attention to detail as always… how long have you been wording that wish? How much effort and energy did you put in just for me? I never wanted this…'_

The Raven Queen hissed, "Very well, in that case, there is nothing I can do. Live your life Vax'ildan, and take the one title no living being has ever received… My **former** champion." She faded back into the shadows, and Vax felt a piece of himself leave with her, he stood there, his gut tightening in shame while he watched his loyalty and purpose was torn from this world with a few simple words and a complex spell. Keyleth jumped on his back, hugging his shoulders so incredibly tightly, they were crying from sheer happiness and he almost felt bad for how disappointed he was to still be alive.

"Hang on there, Kiki… I don't think you can choke me dead and get away with it anymore," He said with a laugh, staring into the distance and hoping that they didn't notice the way his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Oops, sorry." They dropped off of him, and stared at the ground, a little ashamed, before their smirk returned and they winked at him, still teary-eyed, "But I guess this means you get another kiss…"

"I guess it does," He replied with a smirk before he span them around and kissed them more passionately than he had ever kissed **anyone** before.

  _'Even if I have to lie and say I'm okay, I won't have to fake_ this _.'_

 

***

 

Vax lay awake that night, thinking of everything that had happened, Keyleth was asleep, their snores muffled by being face down in his chest, right where the dark wing-shaped bruise used to be. They had barely left his side all night, and it was one of the few consolations he had received for his continued existence. He wondered what this meant for his dreams, after he returned he almost exclusively dreamed of his mistress, he wondered if his mind could even create any new images to pass away the night.

He ran his hands along Keyleth's back, their bare skin was smooth bar some scarring, Pike fixed most of their injuries, but she told them that 'Sarenrae liked to leave you with reminders of where you'd been and what you've done'. Vax smiled at the memory, even as his fingers traced one of their lava scars, and he remembered a time where he thought about worshiping Sarenrae, not as a cleric or a paladin, but just believing in her and what she stood for.

 _'Those were simpler days I think, where all we had to worry about was vampires and whether or not Pickle would be there,'_ He scowled, his thoughts turning dark, _'It wasn't even the Conclave that fucked it all up. It was that damn temple that made my life go to shit. We could have found another way to bring Vex back, I shouldn't have made that deal. If I hadn't-'_

"Mnn… Vax…" Keyleth murmured, stirring against him and picking their head up from his chest, "You okay? Why are you still awake?"

"I'm just not feeling well, I'm a little restless," It wasn't entirely untrue so he didn't feel too bad for saying that, "Actually, don't put your head back down, I'm gonna get up and take a walk for a bit."

"Okay," Their soft sleepy eyes focused on his face and his heart fluttered, it didn't matter how long they were together, he would love everything about them for as long as he lived, "You sure you're alright? I can get up too if you want."

"No, no… don't be silly. My love, you killed a god today. You need your beauty sleep, otherwise I'm going to leave you for someone younger and prettier," He tucked a stray piece of hair behind their ear and kissed their forehead, "I love you so much, sleep well."

"Alrighhh…" They didn't even get to finish the _word_ before their head hit the pillow once more and their snoring resumed.

"The Voice of the Tempest… Banisher of the Whispered One… The One Who Snores All Night…" He whispered, he had a grin on his face that almost lit up their darkened quarters.

Vax shook his head, breaking his reverie, _'I would happily look at them all day and all night from now until the rest of forever, but tonight I have things to do.'_ He thought, putting on some clothes and grabbing his old glove, the one he engraved with a holy symbol almost two years ago, and walking out of their room and into the woods.

 

***

 

"I don't really know how to do this, or if you would even care about me. I mean, I know we sort of talked but that was a while ago and… I'm rambling aren't I? Sorry, I never quite got the hang of the whole **'praying'** thing…" His knees ached a little from his extended kneeling, he wasn't as young as he used to be, and years of fighting didn't do _anyone's_ joints any favours. "Mind you, it doesn't really help that I'm praying to a _glove,_ but I didn't know how else not to get the signals mixed."

"Ugh okay! I just feel stupid. I'm remembering all of this stuff, all of the ways that my life was different before I made that deal with that Raven Bitch!" His cries carried throughout the woods, his pleas answered only by his own voice, desperate echoes filling the night.

"I don't know what I was thinking… I… I made a mistake. Even worse than that, _Scanlan_ made a mistake. I was ready and **willing** to die for my family… You're the god of second chances, what do you do when you didn't want to be redeemed?" He felt a tear roll down his cheek, only for it to be melted away by the warm, yet familiar touch of the Everlight.

The gentle and forgiving touch on his cheek seemed to sink into his skin and Vax heard a soft voice in his head, _"You're not over yet Vax'ildan. I can't promise that these next few days, or even the next few_ ** _years_** _will be easy. But you've made it this far, you can stick it out a little longer. I'll help as best I-"_

"Scanlan! Anyone! **Please!** " Pike's voice was rough, haggard from exertion, "Please help!"

"Pike." Vax's looked towards where his friend's calls were coming from, and heard a soft _"go."_ at the back of his mind as he clicked his heels and sprinted towards his cleric as fast as he could, he clearly wasn't fast enough however, because by the time he got to her, Pike was in hysterics.

"He pulled a card from that fucking deck of his! I saw him! I saw him do it and I just waited! Gods I feel so useless!" Pike was pulling on her hair, and Vax had to kneel before her and hold her hands to stop her from doing any actual damage.

"It's not your fault. Now calm down, we can't solve anything until morning, but we'll get the gang together and we'll fix this Pickle. Everything is going to be alright, we're Vox fucking Machina and we're going to fix whatever is wrong with him," Vax pulled Pike into his chest, holding her tightly.

Pike's words were marred by sobbing, "I can't heal him Vax… I tried and I **can't**."

 

***

 

"So I think his soul is in Pandemonium," Keyleth's eyes turned from white to their natural hazel as they returned to their own body, "It's the only plane that matches what I saw."

"Well then I guess we better go and get him back," Vax replied, feeling a strange sort of determination slowly overwhelm the hopelessness he had felt since yesterday, "I mean, at least it will give us something to do. I don't know about you lot, but I thought a vacation was completely inappropriate after everything we've done."

Vex groaned, she had been pale and clammy all morning, "Vax I love you but please don't joke right now, I feel absolutely sick. I knew I shouldn't have given him back that deck. I hate this so much." A small sob wracked her chest and she buried her face in her hands, "This is all my fault."

Percy wrapped his arms around her, "It was his own stupid mistake dear. Don't worry about it, he's family and we'll fix it but don't blame yourself," He whispered to her, "We'll make it right."

"It'll probably take a couple of weeks, but it should be manageable," Keyleth continued, "We might want to do some research, all I could really see was that it was incredibly windy there, I don't know much else."

Scanlan laughed, it sounded loud, bright and completely out of place with the fact that they were sitting around the body of their comatose friend. "And here we were thinking that our job was over! We can vanquish a god no problem but no one can save us from our own stupidity… sounds about right."

"We'll sort it out. It's what we do after all." Vax replied, almost feeling guilty that he was happier now that Grog was dead then he was when he found out that he would be alive, at least with another quest to complete he could pretend he still had a purpose until he felt whole again.


End file.
